Title: The Bruces Song
            From: Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl
  Transcribed By: unknown


Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable.
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could 
    think you under the table. 
 
David Hume could out-consume Schoppenhauer and Hegel. 
And Whittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel. 
 
There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't teach 'ya 
    'bout the raising of the wrist. 
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed. 
 
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will 
    On half a pint of shanty was particularly ill. 
Plato they say could stick it away, 
    Half a crate of whiskey every day. 
 
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, 
    And Hoppes was fond of his dram. 
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart. 
    "I drink, therefore I am." 
 
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed; 
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.