Title: The Man With Three Buttocks
            From: Monty Python's Flying Circus
  Transcribed By: unknown

Eric Idle:  And now for something completely different.  A man with three
Host (John Cleese):  I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton who...  (pause)
                     Mr. Frampton, I understand that you - um - as it were...
                     (pause) Well let me put it another way.  Erm, I believe
                     that whereas most people have - er - two...  Two.
Frampton (Michael Palin): Oh, sure.
Host:     Ah well, er, Mr Frampton.  Erm, is that chair comfortable?
Frampton: Fine, yeah, fine.
Host:     Mr Frampton, er, vis a vis your... (pause) rump.
Frampton: I beg your pardon?
Host:     Your rump.
Frampton: What?
Host:     Er, your derriere.  (Whispers) Posterior.  Sit-upon.
Frampton: What's that?
Host (whispers): Your buttocks.
Frampton: Oh, me bum!
Host (hurriedly): Sshhh!  Well now, I understand that you, Mr Frampton, have
                  a...  (pause) 50% bonus in the region of what you say.
Frampton: I got three cheeks.
Host:     Yes, yes, excellent, excellent.  Well we were wondering, Mr Frampton,
          if you could see your way clear to giving us a quick...  (pause) a
          quick visual...  (long pause).  Mr Frampton, would you take your
          trousers down.
Frampton: What?  (to cameramen) 'Ere, get that away!  I'm not taking me
          trousers down on television.  What do you think I am?
Host:     Please take them down.
Frampton: No!
Host:     No, er look, er Mr Frampton.  It's quite easy for somebody just to
          come along here claiming...  that they have a bit to spare in the
          botty department.  The point is, our viewers need proof.
Frampton: I been on Persian Radio, and the Forces' Network!

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