Monty Python Sounds
Thanks to Chris Lundie for capturing the sound clips from the Monty Python Movies!
Monty Python's Flying Circus | Monty Python and the Holy Grail | Monty Python's Life of Brian | Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Sounds



Monty Python's Flying Circus:
  • LIBERTY.MID 27 Kb The Liberty Bell March (a.k.a. The Monty Python Theme)
  • MONEY.WAV 590 Kb The Money Song
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Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
  • GRAILTHM.MID 4 Kb. The Theme From The Holy Grail
  • AGRAIL.WAV 11 Kb "A grrrraillll?"
  • APOLOGY.WAV 63 Kb "Every time I try to talk to someone it's 'sorry' this and 'forgive me' that and 'I'm not worthy'!"
  • ARGH.WAV 27 Kb "Aaarrrggghhh!"
  • ARMS.WAV 17 Kb "Consult the book of armaments!"
  • BEDWET.WAV 25 Kb "No chance, English bed-wetting types."
  • BISCUIT.WAV 38 Kb "All right, all right. We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits."
  • BITELEGS.WAV 18 Kb "I'll bite your legs off!"
  • BLEED.WAV 17 Kb "What are you going to do, bleed on me?"
  • BRITAINS.WAV 12 Kb "Who are the Britons?"
  • COCONUT.WAV 40 Kb "You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're banging them together."
  • CUTDOWN.WAV 18 Kb "Cut down a tree with a herring?"
  • DEAD.WAV 33 Kb "Bring out your dead!"
  • ECENTRIC.WAV 14 Kb "What an eccentric performance."
  • FART.WAV 32 Kb "I fart in your general direction."
  • FAVE.WAV 28 Kb "What is your favourite colour?"
  • FRENCH.WAV 58 Kb "I'm French! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king?"
  • GAY.WAV 21 Kb "Bet you're gay." "No, I'm not."
  • GOODIDEA.WAV 30 Kb "Good idea, O Lord." "Course it's a good idea!"
  • GRENADE.WAV 83 Kb "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits in thy mercy."
  • HAMSTER.WAV 57 Kb "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries."
  • HAPPY.WAV 28 Kb "I feel happy!"
  • HELL.WAV 10 Kb "Oh, bloody hell."
  • HERRING.WAV 76 Kb "You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring!"
  • HOWKING.WAV 18 Kb "Well, how do you become king, then?"
  • ICKY.WAV 48 Kb "Ekki ekki ekki ekki pikang zoom-boing"
  • INTRMSN.WAV 29 Kb The theme from the intermission.
  • JC.WAV 17 Kb "Jesus Christ!"
  • KINGWHO.WAV 11 Kb "King of the who?"
  • KNIGHT.WAV 17 Kb "I'm invincible!"
  • KNIGHTS.WAV 36 Kb "We are the knights who say 'ni!'"
  • LOONEY.WAV 9 Kb "You're a looney."
  • MESSAGE.WAV 31 Kb "Message for you, sir."
  • MONKS.WAV 123 Kb The monks' chant. "Pie Iesu Domine. Dona Eis Requiem."
  • MUSTBE.WAV 65 Kb "Who's that, then?" "I don't know. Must be a king." "Why?" "He hasn't got shit all over him."
  • NEWT.WAV 60 Kb "Well, she turned me into a newt!" "A newt?" "I got better."
  • NI.WAV 6 Kb "Ni!"
  • NIBBLE.WAV 16 Kb "What's he do, nibble your bum?"
  • NONEPASS.WAV 21 Kb "None shall pass."
  • NOO.WAV 8 Kb "Noo!"
  • NOTDEAD.WAV 15 Kb "I'm not dead!"
  • 125.WAV 39 Kb "One, two, five!" "Three, sir." "Three!"
  • ORDINARY.WAV 21 Kb "That's no ordinary rabbit."
  • POINTY.WAV 53 Kb "Death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth."
  • PULL.WAV 13 Kb "Pull the other one!"
  • QUEST.WAV 62 Kb "Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest."
  • QUITE.WAV 35 Kb "You know much that is hidden, o Tim." "Quite."
  • RAZ.WAV 42 Kb Frenchman razzing King Arthur.
  • REPRESS.WAV 21 Kb "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"
  • ROGER.WAV 69 Kb "I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design and sell shrubberies."
  • RUNAWAY.WAV 32 Kb "Run away!"
  • SADTIMES.WAV 20 Kb "There is a pestilence upon this land."
  • SCRATCH.WAV 14 Kb "'Tis but a scratch."
  • SHRUB.WAV 30 Kb "A shrubbery!"
  • SHRUB2.WAV 31 Kb "Another shrubbery!"
  • SILLY.WAV 35 Kb "On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place."
  • SOD.WAV 19 Kb "You silly sod!"
  • SPANK.WAV 22 Kb "Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!"
  • SPLAT.WAV 9 Kb The prince falling out of the tower and hitting the ground.
  • STRANGE.WAV 16 Kb "What a strange person."
  • SWALLOW.WAV 29 Kb "What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?"
  • TART.WAV 64 Kb "You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you."
  • TAUNT.WAV 39 Kb "Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time."
  • TESTE.WAV 52 Kb "We fire arrows in the tops of your heads and make castanets out of your testacles already."
  • TIM.WAV 56 Kb "There are some who call me Tim."
  • TIMGRAIL.WAV 33 Kb "You seek the holy grrrailll."
  • VELOCITY.WAV 38 Kb "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
  • VIOLENCE.WAV 23 Kb "Come and see the violence inherent in the system!"
  • WHOKILL.WAV 44 Kb "Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who."
  • WIPE.WAV 38 Kb "You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!"
  • WITCH.WAV 22 Kb "We have found a witch. May we burn her?"
  • WOUND.WAV 62 Kb "Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left." "Yes, I have." "Look!" "It's just a flesh wound."
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Monty Python's Life of Brian:
  • BRIAN.MID 41 Kb. The Theme From Life of Brian
  • AQUADUCT.WAV 7 Kb "The aquaduct?"
  • BEWOMAN.WAV 10 Kb "I want to be a woman."
  • BIGNOSE.WAV 7 Kb "Big-nose!"
  • BIGUS.WAV 9 Kb "Bigus Dickus"
  • BLINDSEE.WAV 28 Kb "I was blind and now I can see."
  • BOX.WAV 35 Kb "Where's the fetus going to gestate? Are you going to keep it in a box?"
  • BUTTOCKS.WAV 11 Kb "Incontinentia Buttocks"
  • CARDIAC.WAV 27 Kb "I think I'm about to have a cardiac arrest."
  • CHEESE.WAV 17 Kb "Blessed are the cheese makers."
  • CRUX.WAV 74 Kb "Crucifixion lasts hours! It's a slow, horrible death!" "Well, at least it gets you out in the open air."
  • DIFFRENT.WAV 46 Kb "Yes, we are all different!" "I'm not."
  • DISCUSS.WAV 21 Kb "This calls for immediate discussion!"
  • DOGOODER.WAV 7 Kb "Bloody do-gooder!"
  • DREAMSPT.WAV 45 Kb "I sometimes hang awake at night, dreaming of being spat at in the face."
  • FAVRTISM.WAV 16 Kb "Bloody favourtism!"
  • FOOT.WAV 15 Kb "Oh, my foot!"
  • GIGGLE.WAV 43 Kb "Anybody else feel like a little giggle?"
  • GOAHEAD.WAV 44 Kb "Go ahead, be crucified, see if I care!"
  • GOAWAY.WAV 10 Kb "Go away!"
  • HEARTHIS.WAV 16 Kb "Wait 'til Bigus Dickus hears of this."
  • HIDE.WAV 18 Kb "You haven't given us time to hide."
  • HOW.WAV 20 Kb "How shall we f-ck off, o Lord?"
  • INDIVID.WAV 69 Kb "You're all individuals!" "Yes, we are all individuals!"
  • LINELEFT.WAV 56 Kb "Crucifixion?" "Yes." "Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each."
  • LUCKY.WAV 30 Kb "You lucky, lucky bastard."
  • LUMPS.WAV 36 Kb "We got lumps of it 'round the back."
  • MESSIAH.WAV 19 Kb "I am not the Messiah!"
  • NAUGHTY.WAV 39 Kb "He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy."
  • PISSOFF.WAV 8 Kb "Piss off!"
  • PLEASING.WAV 35 Kb "There's no pleasing some people." "That's just what Jesus said, sir."
  • SEXSEX.WAV 27 Kb "Sex, sex, sex, that's all they think about, eh?"
  • SQUAD.WAV 34 Kb "Suicide squad, attack!"
  • STUPID.WAV 22 Kb "You stupid bastard!"
  • SUNRISE.WAV 23 Kb "If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off."
  • THWOW.WAV 21 Kb "Thwow him to the floor."
  • WASTE.WAV 22 Kb "This is a complete waste of time."
  • WASTLIFE.WAV 24 Kb "It's such a senseless waste of human life, isn't it?"
  • WEIRDO.WAV 10 Kb "Weirdo!"
  • WOGER.WAV 35 Kb "I shall welease Woger!"
  • WOLFNIPL.WAV 28 Kb "Wolf nipple chips! Get them while they're hot! They're lovely!"
  • WOMAN.WAV 16 Kb "Your father was a Woman?"
  • WOMEN.WAV 17 Kb "Are there any women here today?"
  • WUN.WAV 39 Kb "Well, Bwian, you've given us a good wun for our money." "A what?"
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Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
  • BITOFF.WAV 53 Kb "During the night, old Perkins got his leg bitten sort of off."
  • BUCKET.WAV 26 Kb "Better get a bucket. I'm going to throw up."
  • CLITORIS.WAV 68 Kb "So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the clitoris!"
  • COFFEE.WAV 40 Kb "Tiger brand coffee is a real treat. Even tigers prefer a cup of it to real meat."
  • CUTOFF.WAV 15 Kb "Couldn't you have your balls cut off?"
  • DONOR.WAV 43 Kb "What's this, then?" "A liver donor's card." "Need we say more?"
  • FINDFISH.WAV 13 Kb "Find the fish."
  • FISHGONE.WAV 43 Kb "I wonder where that fish has gone."
  • FOREPLAY.WAV 23 Kb "We'll take the foreplay as read."
  • GAWK.WAV 46 Kb "Don't stand there gawping like you've never seen the hand of God before."
  • GLOOM.WAV 28 Kb "Well, that's cast rather a gloom over the evening, hasn't it?"
  • HATS.WAV 21 Kb "People are not wearing enough hats."
  • IDIDGO.WAV 47 Kb "And it went wherever I did go."
  • LIVELIFE.WAV 38 Kb "F-ck you! I can live my own life in my own way if I want to!"
  • LIVER.WAV 21 Kb "Hello. Can we have your liver?"
  • MAD.WAV 72 Kb "We're inmates of a Bengali psychiatric institution and we escaped by making this skin out of old used cereal packets."
  • MIDDLE.WAV 47 Kb "Hello, good evening, and welcome to the middle of the film!"
  • ORGAN.WAV 22 Kb "Live organ transplants."
  • PING.WAV 27 Kb "Get the machine that goes ping!"
  • SCIENCE.WAV 38 Kb "I've got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments."
  • STUFFED.WAV 42 Kb "I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed."
  • TIGER.WAV 18 Kb "Why are you dressed as a tiger?"
  • WAFER.WAV 19 Kb "It's only wafer thin."
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